


In The Swirling Of This Storm Leave A Light, A Light On

by bluechoc



Series: Make Your Home In The Darkness [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Vampire Diaries/The Originals AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9856505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluechoc/pseuds/bluechoc
Summary: Sirius feels the old fear that comes every time James thinks of the devastation they leave behind them; every time James searches his soul and finds it terribly wanting.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters (JK Rowling does), and the story is based off the Original family in Vampire Diaries and The Originals.
> 
> The title comes from 'Midnight' by Coldplay.

Sirius finds him out on the balcony watching the sun slowly set.

James doesn’t turn when he opens the door and joins him. It’s not the first time Sirius sees the mellow light of the fading sun paint his profile, but even after a thousand years, it still manages to take his breath away. It’s hard to see the vicious vampire he is when his features are softened by the dying light.

James doesn’t move at all until Sirius lights a cigarette. James turns to him, eyes tracking the movement of his hand as he brings the cigarette to his lips and they linger at his lips when he takes the cigarette away. When James lifts his eyes to meet his, Sirius isn’t surprised to see the pensive look in them. 

It’s during times like these when he feels the distance between them most acutely, loathe as he is to acknowledge that they are different in any way.

Sirius has embraced their new existence and nature with a wild joy. He delights in the rush of the bloodlust and savours the divine taste of human blood. He revels in the hunt for human prey. He knows James does too. But Sirius has never felt guilt or remorse for the things he had done or felt. James has. Once every few centuries throughout the millennium. 

Sirius feels the old fear that comes every time James thinks of the devastation they leave behind them; every time James searches his soul and finds it terribly wanting. He felt it the first time when they realised they could no longer go out into the sun. He remembers the horror on James’ face when Narcissa screamed as half her body was burnt by the sun before she was pulled back into the shadows of the hut. James was born to live beneath the sun; he loved the warmth on his back as he worked the land, and the warmth on his face as he napped. James’ misery the first few days before Sirius’ mother created the daylight rings was not something Sirius ever wanted to see again. It was the first time he was afraid James regretted becoming immortal.

But James’ contemplation never lasted more than a few days. Sirius would leave him to his thoughts on those days and he would go to visit his cousins wherever they were. Andromeda and Narcissa had always updated them on their whereabouts; and it was hardly difficult to follow the scent of blood and fear to reach Bellatrix. It was easy enough to ignore his fear then, when James tracked him down a few days later, tackling him and claiming that Sirius had forgotten that he too had heightened senses, courtesy of being a vampire.

It’s harder to ignore that fear now. Here at the town where everything began one thousand years ago.

James had insisted that they should all come back to commemorate the millennial. He doesn’t know why his cousins agreed. They must have been curious as to the fate of the village they abandoned. As it is, Sirius’ cousins and their partners are out exploring the town. It was a shock to find that a town had been established here; they had massacred the village three nights after they turned, succumbing to their bloodlust and their fury of being shunned by their neighbours. 

But James is here, and so is Sirius. And he is getting _tired_ of James’ musings. They could have been building a model of Mystic Falls instead and identifying the weak points in its defence.

“Are you bloody done yet, mate?” Sirius asks as he blows out a puff of smoke.

James raises an eyebrow and turns his gaze back to the setting sun. “Trust you not to appreciate the significance of living for a millennium off other people’s _life’s_ _blood_ ,” he mutters. 

Sirius snorts, “If you just realised that we’re immortal, then I don't think you know what the average lifespan of a human is.”

James turns to glare at him, “How can you be so flippant? We killed countless people to be here today.”

“I got that memo the first time we drained our first victim. It’s who we are; what we are.”

James sighs and raises a hand to scrub at his face tiredly, “Don’t you regret it? Don't you… regret becoming a vampire? Is immortality worth this price?”

Coldness wraps itself around Sirius’ heart. He never wanted to believe that James actually regretted his choice to have an immortal life with him. “Why are you asking this?” he snaps back at James. “Do you regret it?” He stops, horrified. He crumbles the cigarette in his hand, ignoring the slight pain from its lit end.

James’ brow furrows, “Sirius?”

“Is that why you wanted to come back here?” he asks harshly. “So you can die like you think you should have one thousand years ago?” He wants to scream. He wants to cry. How could you? How could you? What about me? How am I supposed to live without you?

James eyes widen, and he knows he can see the desperation and fear beneath his angry mask. James grips Sirus’ face hard. Hard enough to hurt, and strong enough to calm him. “No,” James whispers, his eyes pleading Sirius to believe him. “ _No_. That is _not_ why I wanted to come back here. You _know_ that.”

He searches James’ eyes intently for a lie, but he only finds sincerity. He clings to it and the knowledge that James isn’t going anywhere. It's enough for him. It’s always been enough.

“Do you regret becoming a vampire?” Sirius finally asks again when James lets go of his face. He thinks he can handle the answer now, when he knows James isn’t planning to die. (It’s not like he _could_ die anyway; they had burnt the white oak tree eons ago. But he could still be daggered for an eternity.)

James lets out a low bitter laugh, sending a chill through Sirius. “I _should_ regret it. I _know_ I should regret ever agreeing to this damned existence.” Sirius has never heard such self-disgust in James’ voice, but it’s difficult to hold onto it when there is a profound hope growing in his chest. “But I don’t. I don’t bloody regret it at all.”

Sirius feels more relief than he had ever felt before, and a thousand years worth of tension he never acknowledged floods out of him. He lets his body slouch against the balcony rail and watches James’ eyes track his movements.

“Do you want to know why?” James asks softly as he leans in close, letting their chests brush. His hazel eyes are fixed firmly on his own grey ones. “Because I have you, and if I can spend an eternity with you, I don’t give a shit about my soul.” James lifts an eyebrow and smirks, “What do you have to say to that?”

Sirius smirks back, etching this moment into his memory, “I’d say ‘Prove it.’”

James laughs as he surges forward, capturing Sirius’ lips in a fierce kiss. His arms wrap around Sirius’ waist to pull him closer. Sirius responds instantly, lips opening to let his tongue wrestle with James’ and teeth biting James’ lips hard enough to draw blood. He pours everything he has into this kiss, because James has to _know_ that he feels the same. His hands come up to tangle in James’ hair, untamed even after all these years.

_This_ , he thinks, is something he will never tire of. _This_ , he thinks, is worth any cost of immortality. 


End file.
